One of the finer, forgotten points of Darwinism that men always overlook is the preparing of the domicile to recieve a young lady. What follows is meant to help single men of the world through this trial that actually does make all the difference, despite what you may think (or not, you're a guy afterall).

Do realize that when a woman comes over to your house (apartment, trailer, "place", etc.) you are under scrutiny. It is as if the FBI is making a full bug sweep through your living quarters, leaving no pillow unturned. See, women do a lot of flash forwarding, involving themeselves in various situations such as "will I walk on that floor barefoot" and "if he disregards the bathtub, will he someday forget our anniversary?". It's silly, I know, but bare with me - there are a few things you can do to immediately improve your "rating" which is actually an ongoing mental score that women keep, similar to exit polls but tons more flippant:

1. Floors are of major importance to women I think becuase of their almost maternal connection to their shoes. Scan your floor for loose articles - water bottles, sports equipment, clothes, bill envelopes, random cords. These need to go away - your carpet should be an unbroken, barren area, with clearly defined paths from place to place. In a pinch, use your kitchen sink as a mop bucket to dry and wet mop hard surfaces at the same time.

2. Even if you have the sandy formica cabinet tops in your kithen and can't visibly detect any contrast between crumbs and the actual surface, they're there and they scream, "you are a bad lover" in loud, repeating intervals. Do a once over with a sponge or, my favorite, a wet paper towel. Get a plastic bag going.

3. Your bathroom will make or break a relationship so be VERY well prepared. If a women can't use your bathroom, she can't use you and will move on to a cleaner bathroom - it's that simple. What you're looking for here is a curious, thin, almost invisible layer of filth that accumulates on all white surfaces, almost like an indoor moss. If you don't see this, I promise it's under a difficult layer of pubic hair that also needs to go. It's probably the color of your towels. And shock treat your toilet - if it's bad, get some chlorine from Pinch-A-Penny, throw it in, then don't go there for like a day. It's been my experience with swimming pools that chlorine takes care of a number of unpleasantries.

Believe me, your apartment is your audition, in no uncertain terms. Think of it as a game - the harder you clean, the better chance she'll want to stay, and I think we all know what that means.

It means you'll have to keep cleaning.