So, I've held off doing this long enough out of respect for my friends who don't as of yet have a job out of college. But I feel I've given them more than enough time, so here it is:

WANTED: Personal Intern

Job Description
Brandon, LLC is a leading peer-to-peer downloading company serving no one in particular. I am searching for an Intern for my corporate office located in Rockville, MD. Flexible hours. Intern responsibilities include downloading and organizing my MP3 files. In fact, that's pretty much the job right there. Light typing and occasional sandwich prep.

About the company
I have a lot of MP3's and they need to be organized. I like artists like "Reef" and "Robby Williams" so if you can't hang or are forced to produce a snicker when you come across folders upon folders of music you don't particularly like, you can go to hell. Music snobs, emo babies and people with Saturn's need not apply.

Minimum Skills & Experience
-o- Bachelor's degree or equivalent specializing in Business, University of Florida MBA's preferred
-o- 5+ years management level experience in music-based technology environment with demonstrated skills
-o- Demonstrated leadership in developing and implementing ways of downloading more MP3's as if the end of the world was nigh and we were hoarding them like food
-o- Exceptional interpersonal, communication and organization skills
-o- If you're a dude, must have hot, unfaithful girlfriend or hot, confused friend who has a thing for men with authority (over you)

If you are the qualified candidate I am searching for, please submit cover letter, resume and salary requirements to someone benevolent, and then come organize my music.