My friend, Steve, thinks you are one of the most influential musicians of the 21 century. He sings your songs, wears his hair like yours and even voted for you in the past election as a write-in candidate. I am writing to "book" you for May the 31st as a suprise for him, but I suspect you might still be tied up in the Senate. See, this will be Steve's first day of real, solid work since college, owing to his fortunate employment at an Engineering firm in South Florida. We'd like you to consider coming around lunch and keeping it short as Steve wants to make a good impression by not taking too much personal time his first week on the job. I figure after 3 years of being his roommate and listening to repeated rotations of "The Hunger" I owe him this much and so do you.

Sincerely, Brandon
P.S. Please respond soon as I need to know what you want on your sub sandwich.

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Brandon,
It is so nice of you to take time out of your very busy day to write a fan letter to Mr. Bolton. I'm sure your parents would be proud. While we are all very happy to hear that Mr. Kurian is gainfully employed, I am sorry to inform you that Mr. Bolton was not part of any political campaign. If there is anything else we can do for you to further your relationship with Mr. Steve Kurian, please let us know. Hope this helps!

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Dear Nameless Bolton Lacky:
Thank you for being absolutly no help at all. In the future, could you please see that all of Mr. Bolton's mail gets to Mr. Bolton himself as I'm pretty confident that a) if he had read my words he would be on a cessna to Tampa by now and b) opening other people's mail is a federal offense. I'm sure your parents would be proud. By the way, Kenny G. practically swallowed his electric clarinet when he heard my offer - I guess Bolton just can't hang.
Sinerely, Brandon