How can I assist you?

Me: Anna, I have to talk to you about something...it's not easy for me to say this, but I just don't think it's going to work out...
Anna: I won't quit. I'll work here to help IKEA's customers and users browsing this website.

Me: Listen, I don't want an argument here, but you've said that before and now, there's no trust.
Anna: I'm very sorry, but I can't really talk about things like that at this time

Me: See? that's what I'm talking about, you're too emotionally unavailable...
Anna: I don't know the answer to that question yet, I am sorry. Please contact your local store for help on the issue.

...and I'm looking for someone a little more multi-dimensional...
Anna: Contact the Customer Service department at your local store. Use our Store Locator - which is opening now - to find the local store you want to contact.

...someone who cares about me...about my life.
Anna: A good point I suppose. If you don't want to continue the conversation now, I'll be here whenever you feel like coming back.

Me: Well, I appreciate that. I had hoped you would make this easy.
Anna: All of IKEA's products are made to the highest standards.

Me: I'll keep that in mind. So, what happens now?
Anna: As long as you keep asking questions, I'll keep answering them.

Me: Should we...should we consumate our breakup?
Anna: It's not easy for me to understand what you mean (when you use ellipses)

Me: Sounds kinky, but marital aids aside, I don't think I'm attracted to you anymore anyways.
Anna: I'm no expert, but I suggest going to see a doctor.

Me: Hey, that was an isolated incident and we had just watched the "Bridges of Madison County" - what did you expect was going to happen?
Pause - vacant smile, blink, nose flinches

Well, I guess this is goodbye
Anna: Bye, then! It was very nice talking to you

We'll always have the barca lounger, right?
Anna: Here you will find the Other Armchairs Subcategory.