I am looking to hold a dinner for friends in Gainesville soon and was hoping you were still doing guest appearances. I was thinking we could add a little twist - after talking this over with several people, the general consensus seems to be: James Bates = not funny; James Bates in a sack of wolverines being beaten by GatorTextbooks while yelling out in horror in a faked Deliverance accent = funny. If you can accommodate, we will of course discuss payment of your normal appearance fee, which if I remember correctly, works out to roughly four beers and dinner for two at the Reitz Union. You just cannot put a price on esoteric!

Hugs and Kisses,
Brandon