I write a lot about the differences between men and women. So what. Some of the greatest works of art and a lot of wars have been based soley on this difference and the complex interplay that exists therein. Works such as Fellini's "8 1/2" which contains a striking scene towards the middle that I found readily (and uncomfortably) relatable to life. The scene begins as the main character, Guido, returns home from work to a large house (or barn) and finds all the women he's ever been romantically (or otherwise) involved with engaged in some over-simplified feminine action; primping, cleaning, chatting, whatever. As the vignette unfolds, the women proceed to give him a bath, reducing him to a child, all the while fawning, flirting, pampering, and near the end, becoming jealous but ultimately remembering that they exist only for him. The way he controls them is interesting - he allows them personality, intelligence, and self-preservation but excludes any motivation other than to serve him.

And this way he keeps them, all of them, for himself, for his amusement, without any of the qualities that would tend to make them complete human beings. Fellini knew what it was to be a man, for, I'm embarrassed to relate, this is exactly what men want. Have any man watch this scene and tell me they don't want to be Guido. What's mildly more pathetic is that a few of us actually think we can bring it about. Please, women of the world, understand this fact and try to respect it, because this its pretty near universal for our species. If at all possible, continue working on a clever fix for our retarded version of the perfect existence. I'm not entirely sure its something that we can do for ourselves until we actually grow out of it, the theory being that we either do and settle down, or become the product of our own egotistical fantasy.

So why do we do this? I'm way too close to the issue to be able to answer with any kind of objectivity, but I can compare it to something more understandable: peanut butter and jelly. You have peanut butter. You have jelly. They go together. They just do. It's kind of a given, something you know for a fact, it's settled, and it's simple and beautiful that way. You would never think of messing with it or arguing over it because if you DID (and this is where most men's minds start warning them) you pretty much have to reconsider the entire grand scheme of existence, something we're pretty happy with and proud of. We hold things like peanut butter and jelly very close because there is no need to be unequivocal about them. It doesn't need a reason - a thing that exists like this would tend to be a super thing, perhaps even magical and definitely unclassified (and yet classified as "higher" than everything else). And, as of right now, I think deep down, men don't feel like we need a reason to think the way we do.