How many times have you heard this - over dinner on a first date, at a party, in an internal narration of someone's online profile, whatever - "I enjoy watching people"? If you say that, especially to me, you are all at once communicating:

A) You're uninteresting...
B) You have too much time on your hands...
C) You think way too much of yourself to assume you can learn something by simply looking at it (like TV)...
D) You feel the need to tell everyone that you learn better a certain way (because you're so clever - note: no one really cares except your mother who figured it out when she saw you put legos in your ear for the 15th time) and
E) You're creepy and follow random people with your eyes, probably while trying to sketch them. That makes me uncomfortable.

My reaction to this is about the same as when someone deliberately mispells a word to be original or says, "duh" - I imagine myself as the person doing it, realize how lame it really is, experience a brief moment of utter self-loathing, vow never to do it in real life, recognize that this process never took place within the person who actually did it, and finally, realize that I am disgusted that the person couldn't have been just a little more reflective (I originally broke this down to its discrete parts to make sure that I wasn't being completely ridiculous, which, of course, it turns out I am).

Tonight, I was waiting for Kyle in Dupont circle and a memory of this girl who once told me she liked to "watch people as a way to understand herself" came to mind. In this instance she was trying to tell me how in love she was with the idea of people thinking of her as some kind of researcher or scientist when really she was just normal.

Purported "people watchers" use this phrase (and others) as a way to describe themself without describing anything in particular. Kind of like how when you ask about someone's trip and they tell you about the weather. "People watching" seems like it could be one of those arbitrarily popular activities that makes you reflective, modern, spiritual, and deep. They could just as soon say, "I really enjoy doing nothing. The mental stimulation I'm kidding myself that I'm experiencing is not removing me further and further from reality in the least bit. I'm reaching new heights of inner awareness. Please like me."

Tell you what - you can people watch all you want, just don't make a point of telling everyone because we all do it. It's an activity that's part of a larger class of unavoidable actions, like smiling ("I enjoy smiling"), talking to your parents ("I LOVE my parents") or making change. These sayings are designed to make you think there's something seriously wrong with you that you don't share the same empty sentiments. When I'm around someone like this, I feel like an ass that I can't honestly say something emphatic at the drop of a hat. I think sometimes people just want to hear themselves speak.

Writing this blog makes me kind of guilty of that last one. The difference (I hope) is that I actively try to recognize when I'm being shallow and seek genuine conversation when at all possible.