Step One - Find shirt (usually from Georgia Thrift or could be left behind by friend - point is you did not own it originally or it came into your keeping through some indirect manner)

Step Two - Ignore shirt for at least 2 weeks (throw it on top of laundry pile and forget about it until your turn with the washing machine)

Step Three - Wear all clean clothes until you have nothing left (this is when you discover forgotten shirt in the pile while sorting through for semi-wearable clothes because you never do laundry)

Step Four - Put on shirt and say to self, "Pfff - WHATEVER..." and go out

Step Five - Shenanigans, ribaldry, debauchery, defenestration, gingerbread house building, horse-betting, soap-making, life choice-decisioning, fire-fighting, and finally pancake eating

Step Six - remove shirt - alone or with help - and at some point inspect (notice glow of influence now emanating from once simple garment)

Step Seven - wear shirt again when necessary

- Why I made that face
- How useless certain magazines are
- Justin Timberlake
- I paid for x but got y
- Words really mean things and are not randomly interchangeable
- What I meant when it looked like I was typing for an hour but didn't respond
- Yeah, I changed the WEP password again
- You'll split the check if it's your goal to be paid
- I said to do x but you did y
- Why there's ground up coffee beans in chocolate now apparently (new)